" I am what you see, not what they say. But if i turned out to be, could you love me any way?"
-You'll Ask for Me by Tyler Hilton.
In a day like today, everyone wants to be someone. Any why wouldn't we? We are taught from day one to dream big, set high expectations. We are learning from kindergarten through high school how to set goals and reach them, constantly asked what we want to be when we grow up and encouraged to believe in that, then dream bigger dreams and never stop on our own paths to success.
Life has been making me extra giddy lately.
I've been looking at tons of photography online lately and it's been really inspiring. Since I've 'opened myself up' to this whole blogging scene, I have seen so many people who are so passionate about what they have, what they do, where they are talented and truly following after their own hearts, whether its a person who is a vegan sharing her recipes daily, or a person in love and sharing every detail to the planning and day of her wedding, to people who love books or politics or writing or fashion or crafts- whatever it is. I'm not sure if I have one of these things, or lots of tiny things. But lately I've been getting more and more excited about all of these little things and it makes me so excited for the future and what it has in store. I hope to never forget the freeing feeling and just the abundance of life I felt while I was abroad. From the culture and lifestyle that it opened my mind up to, to the people that opened my heart and blossomed relationships I never dreamt possible. I'm not sure if it is just something I have felt semi limited by in my life, but people and their reactions or expectations have always been important to certain aspects... and I have continued to live in a way that surprises people because of the choices I have made...
If I remember right, I really did wake up one morning senior year and say to myself "I want to swim in college" and very similarly, I woke up one day while in college and said "I don't want to swim any more, there is too much else out there" and just like one day I said I wanted to study abroad, and one day South Africa was just on the top of my list. I still have that page, kind of funny when I found it last Thursday.
But why can't we just wake up and decide to follow our heart? It is not a mental awakening, it awakens the soul and rejuvenates passion and heart and a feeling that every person should know and be connected with, not detached from.
So sure, I have a lot to learn. I have tons and tons to learn! But thats the adventure... thats the journey. Embracing the similarities and differences that each and every person we come in contact with, every terrain and stretch of land our feet cross.. to see the beauty and all that this world has to offer.
Ah, exciting isn't it! Maybe that's why I've been so giddy lately. Maybe that can be my own little *staple... to help others see the joy in following after these different possibilities and enjoying each moment, regardless of where we are at and what we are doing.
So where does my joy come from?
...The faces of the people I love, hiding my face behind the camera and forever having those images, conversations, cultures, everything that is heart warming and moving. People in general. I can't even explain this enough. I don't spend enough time embracing these things in my life either, getting too tied down in the monotonous hours of homework or getting caught up in complaining and giving in to merely surviving. I want to do more than that!
Whether you decide to hop, skip or jump- tread lightly on today. Relax, jump into all they day has to offer. See things in a new way. Try not to get caught up in what brings you down. Attempt to brush things off. Fill your days with what you love.
"I like where ever I am. That's my biggest secret."
-Warren Zevon
Monday, September 21, 2009
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Lets Rock n Roll
These are a few of my favorite things...
trains (I can see them from where I am sitting at a downtown coffee shop)
coffee (esp organic and fair trade!)
local coffee shops
parks
walks
swinging
bonfires
art
music (diggin the relaxing sultry music playing here)
procrastinating.
Can procrastinating be on this list? Not sure. But I am a pro. Hardest class of my college life, and I am no where near ready for the test! Working in about an hour for 3 hours, then class, then test! Why did I decide last night that One Tree Hill and Gossip Girls was more important than studying for this test? Ah, life. And choices. I need to work on that actually:: making better choices. And what better time than the present, right? Ok, I'll start with my first better decision and get off the computer and study study study.
Side note: I also joined the 20 something bloggers so if you're stopping by, hello! Give me a little break if my blog is pretty bare as of now, I'll work on it!
Always, love.
trains (I can see them from where I am sitting at a downtown coffee shop)
coffee (esp organic and fair trade!)
local coffee shops
parks
walks
swinging
bonfires
art
music (diggin the relaxing sultry music playing here)
procrastinating.
Can procrastinating be on this list? Not sure. But I am a pro. Hardest class of my college life, and I am no where near ready for the test! Working in about an hour for 3 hours, then class, then test! Why did I decide last night that One Tree Hill and Gossip Girls was more important than studying for this test? Ah, life. And choices. I need to work on that actually:: making better choices. And what better time than the present, right? Ok, I'll start with my first better decision and get off the computer and study study study.
Side note: I also joined the 20 something bloggers so if you're stopping by, hello! Give me a little break if my blog is pretty bare as of now, I'll work on it!
Always, love.
Saturday, September 12, 2009
'It ain't nothin but a breeze' -Jimmy Buffet
It’s been a long time, long enough that I left a country, entered readjustment period (still there) full of transitions and left home to start my senior year of college (Hurrah!) But for the sake of getting my blog on, we’ll pretend like it was just yesterday. To be completely honest, not sure anyone will be reading this. Therefore, I will continue to blog and write for the pure and honest reason that I just enjoy writing. There, you have it folks! That’s the big secret. So buckle up, or jump off if you’re not ready for it. I’m coming back, full of spirit, vigor and excitement for life and living. Flying by the seat of my pants, burning the candle at both ends, so on and so on… just understand that this semester lands me right at the busiest portion of my life in the past two years. And you know me, I’m loving each minute and every moment that a busy schedule has to offer. Just so you have an idea, I’m working two jobs, doing a nonpaid/non credit internship and taking thirteen credits. Need I say more?
Well, whether I need to or not, I’m here already so might as well keep going…
Coming home and adjusting was more of a day to day process, and I could handle that. I don’t think I experienced the overwhelming feeling of missing South Africa or anything, it was more in the smaller moments and the memories. But with so much to look forward to in life, who wants to spend time dwelling in what is not possible? Indeed, therefore I kept practicing putting what I thought I learned pretty well in SA, and that is living day to day and living in the moment.
Catch 22- except I’m graduating in a short eight months so some post graduation planning may be happening, but for today we will stick with the immediate, most exciting happenings.
1. Today I went with the photographer I'm interning with and shot my first wedding! It was amazing. One of the best things I've done lately, and gave me a renewed and empowering feeling, not sure why, just felt as if more things were possible in life. Seeing things in a different/more positive light? All things that are needed. So I came home and sat and looked at camera/photo stuff for a few hours. Also lead me to fixing up this blog, which is exactly what I've been meaning to do! And here we are, right?
2. Tomorrow is my first day on my own at Bdubs! Feels like its been awhile, but that's just because I've had about 4 shifts a week the past two weeks to train. And thank goodness that is over! Tomorrow the Vikings play, which in Minnesota is a pretty big deal, though I must say it doesn't compare to the Husker's sea of red, but hopefully it'll mean good business! I'm working a party and they pretty much have a full staff on for the game. Whew!
3. This is a matter of interest that I suppose I just feel like adding: in my entire three years of college (including the months spent in SA) I can't say I've ever actualy gotten homesick... until coming back to school! Summer days heated up and the nights weren't any different, my appreciation for friends and family must have mounted while I was away for so long and all of it must have been blended up and come out with me wishing I weren't here! Business has always been a distractor for me, and to be honest it is probably saving me right now, and I am thankful! I just can't wait to get a paycheck!
4. Some things I've been addicted to lately... fmylife.com, textsfromlastnight.com, and postsecret.com. So cool! Oh, and Gloriana. Now? Quite possibly job searching, saving for my next camera toys, photography goodness and all that jazz. Boy oh boy, it's already two am! Not much has changed, I still do pretty well of minimal amounts of sleep.
Few others: addicted to nonfiction/autobiographical novels lately. Working at a day care. Haven't drank much coffee lately. Biopsych is going to be the end of me. Goal is still to do at least a triathlon in the spring, but have yet to start training. I love old friends and reminiscing, random run ins and catching up. There is a chance I might still attempt to teach myself guitar. Yeehaw!
Feels good to be back =) Even if it is for nothing more than my own personal satisfaction.
<3 .
Well, whether I need to or not, I’m here already so might as well keep going…
Coming home and adjusting was more of a day to day process, and I could handle that. I don’t think I experienced the overwhelming feeling of missing South Africa or anything, it was more in the smaller moments and the memories. But with so much to look forward to in life, who wants to spend time dwelling in what is not possible? Indeed, therefore I kept practicing putting what I thought I learned pretty well in SA, and that is living day to day and living in the moment.
Catch 22- except I’m graduating in a short eight months so some post graduation planning may be happening, but for today we will stick with the immediate, most exciting happenings.
1. Today I went with the photographer I'm interning with and shot my first wedding! It was amazing. One of the best things I've done lately, and gave me a renewed and empowering feeling, not sure why, just felt as if more things were possible in life. Seeing things in a different/more positive light? All things that are needed. So I came home and sat and looked at camera/photo stuff for a few hours. Also lead me to fixing up this blog, which is exactly what I've been meaning to do! And here we are, right?
2. Tomorrow is my first day on my own at Bdubs! Feels like its been awhile, but that's just because I've had about 4 shifts a week the past two weeks to train. And thank goodness that is over! Tomorrow the Vikings play, which in Minnesota is a pretty big deal, though I must say it doesn't compare to the Husker's sea of red, but hopefully it'll mean good business! I'm working a party and they pretty much have a full staff on for the game. Whew!
3. This is a matter of interest that I suppose I just feel like adding: in my entire three years of college (including the months spent in SA) I can't say I've ever actualy gotten homesick... until coming back to school! Summer days heated up and the nights weren't any different, my appreciation for friends and family must have mounted while I was away for so long and all of it must have been blended up and come out with me wishing I weren't here! Business has always been a distractor for me, and to be honest it is probably saving me right now, and I am thankful! I just can't wait to get a paycheck!
4. Some things I've been addicted to lately... fmylife.com, textsfromlastnight.com, and postsecret.com. So cool! Oh, and Gloriana. Now? Quite possibly job searching, saving for my next camera toys, photography goodness and all that jazz. Boy oh boy, it's already two am! Not much has changed, I still do pretty well of minimal amounts of sleep.
Few others: addicted to nonfiction/autobiographical novels lately. Working at a day care. Haven't drank much coffee lately. Biopsych is going to be the end of me. Goal is still to do at least a triathlon in the spring, but have yet to start training. I love old friends and reminiscing, random run ins and catching up. There is a chance I might still attempt to teach myself guitar. Yeehaw!
Feels good to be back =) Even if it is for nothing more than my own personal satisfaction.
<3 .
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