Wednesday, November 18, 2009

I guess if you don't jump you'll never know if you can fly

So I think I am going to write a quick blog just to sort of process through some stuff. The past three days (I know it isn't long, but I procrastinate so I put a whole lot of stuff into a really short time frame) I have been running around campus getting all of the documentations, copies and talking to my reference writers working on this JET application- to be an assistant language teacher in Japan. And I know- Japan? If you asked me why, which you might, I'm not sure I would have an answer. But sometimes we stumble upon things for a certain reason that is unclear... and doesn't necessarily make sense until way later when we look back in retrospect. So to you my friends who are questioning 'why Japan?' Well, to you I say, why not?

It seems for awhile I've been looking for a confirmation of the path or road I need to take, the next step and phase in life: but I think it's become clear through that retrospect/introspection idea. like many things in life, the answer was written in my experiences, waiting for me to discover all it has to offer and show me. I have entered things blindly in the past- the reservation and South Africa to name some of the bigger ones, and I think it turned out for the best. Being able to enter a culture, community and even country that is so entirely different from the way that you were raised and being thrown off- set off balance for that time period gives you a chance to readjust. To reorganize and regroup and figure things out. But it does more than that. Taking a chance on something new gives you the opportunity to be unbiased and truly see a people for who they are. Without any other objectives than creating a relationship, mutual learning and finding a common understanding can go a long way. In a time where love is so often overlooked for power, greed, money and lust; finding a place to love across all other factors can be hard... which leads me to my next point.

Not many people know I am applying for this. And for a few different reasons, and to me they are good reasons. One is that I wanted this to be my decision to make. I wanted to decide what I want to do after college: where I want to go and be able to accumulate an array of experience coupled with adventure and excitement that might impact... will definitely impact the next years. So why not? Without anything holding me down or tying me to any one particular state or city, why not fly away with my freedom while I can? Another reason is just my passion? I guess passion for gaining an appreciation or love for another culture. It is hard for some people to understand given the past history why I would want to do this- but it is so simple and so plain to me that there is a need for an awareness that while there may never be the picture perfect pageant answer of 'world peace' there can be individual peace. And that is gained and achieved when we open up ourselves, our lives and our love to strangers and allow ourselves to see people- and them see us... and perhaps, in this moment, in that moment of self realization you realize a little bit about yourself and that other person... that you really aren't all that different. In fact... you might have a lot of similarities and within those similarities and the realization of the differences... we can find a unison. And while this song may not sing out in perfect harmony, it is the beginning of a ballad that can create an everlasting melody to flow to the next generation, and the next and the next. In reality, in risking a little we might be creating a new future and a new hope: for ourselves and those around. Footsteps to follow, and an encouragement to ourselves and others. This could be an old song that has been sung before, but it doesn't matter; it has awakened our soul and felt deep within our heart of hearts. This is our life- one life to live!
And I know that I would not be content- I could not be content sitting and watching, being a passerby in my own life. This is a life that is worth standing up for the injustices, speaking out for the silent and fighting for what lights our hearts. And while we laugh with a light heart at times, and break for the pain of strangers- it is in the greatest moments and the deepest pain when we can most easily unite. So let us unite! Let us see others for who they are and what they are doing and gain a better global appreciation for individuality and beauty.
Ah, to live a life with a smile, recognizing the beauty and the pain and seeing those who are ready and willing to do something... and all of this stemmed from my thought process of this application? No wonder I'm having such a hard time making my mission statement pointed. Well, all is fair in the blog community I suppose. As far as I know, these are empty words shall they never reach the eyes of another reader. But nothing is ever done in vain where there is a purpose, and I believe I have a purpose.
Well, love goes out to you- from the bottom of the CSU where I have this beautiful November sunshine shining down on me from the huge windows..... ah, windows... love. Let us look up in hope and out in adventure!